One of my biggest pet peeves is when people attend meetings but aren’t truly present. It bothers me on multiple levels; it shows disrespect to others, it’s rude, and it wastes time – especially when you repeat something because someone wasn’t paying any attention. Here are twelve things you can do to be present:
Prepare
Most good leaders provide an agenda or materials to review before the meeting. If someone takes the time to give you a work product in advance, have the courtesy to look at it – even if you skim it. Don’t show up without preparing. By reviewing documents in advance, you demonstrate that you are a professional and care.
Show up on Time
Another thing that irritates me is when people show up late. I get that it’s the real world, and sometimes things happen, but if you can’t make it or you’re going to be late, you should let the meeting organizer (or someone else) know, so they don’t wait for you. I prefer to show up between 2-5 minutes early. By showing up on time, you signal that you are good at managing your time and that you respect other people’s time, too.
Turn your video on
Before COVID-19, I wasn’t always comfortable turning the video on when I had a conference call, but that changed when everyone realized the benefits of this technology. A large percentage of communication happens through body language, which you can’t see if you don’t turn on your video. Nobody cares if you didn’t do your hair or makeup (but don’t show up in your pajamas), so show your face.
Contribute
If you attend a meeting but say nothing, why did you bother to come? If you are invited to a meeting, presumably your opinion matters, and people want to hear what you have to say – so speak up. Don’t be scared to share it if you have a contrary opinion. Healthy conflict is a good thing; it leads to innovation and the best solutions. So don’t stay silent – say something.
Don’t talk over others
Some people dominate in meetings and constantly interrupt or talk over others to ensure you hear them. Don’t be that person. Don’t hijack the discussion with your own opinion. Say what you need to when appropriate, and only when it’s your turn.
Take a Breath
Have you ever been in a meeting with a person who won’t shut up because they love the sound of their own voice? Unfortunately, I have, and it’s hard to get a word in edgewise. So, if you have this tendency, say what you need to and then pause so other people can respond. If you never take a breath, no one else will be able to contribute.
Listen
A huge part of communication is listening, and not just with your ears. Look in the eyes of the person speaking so they know you are attentive and that you are receiving the message they’re sending. It also helps to observe body language to read between the lines. After you hear something, repeat (in your own words) what you heard to confirm understanding.
Avoid distractions
Are you that person who can’t stay off your cellphone in meetings? Are you constantly looking down on video calls to scroll through social media on your phone? Do you monitor your instant messaging channels or email when you’re supposed to be paying attention? If you work from home, are your kids or pets constantly interrupting you during working hours? If so, set up an environment that reduces these disruptions as much as possible.f
Don’t try to Multi-task
Multi-tasking is a myth – it doesn’t work, so don’t try to do it. It’s a proven fact that people can only focus on one cognitive task at a time. If you are typing an email, looking at your phone, or scrolling through the news during a meeting, you’re not going to hear what people are saying. If you are multi-tasking and someone asks you a question, and you ask them to repeat it, you’re wasting everyone else’s time.
Respect Others
If you think you know everything – you don’t. Give people the respect they deserve. Hear them out, even if you disagree with what they say. Use the golden rule and treat others the way you would like to be treated. Everyone deserves to be respected (unless they have given you a good reason not to). So don’t disrespect others, or they will do the same to you.
Pay Attention
One of the most important things you can do in meetings is pay attention. Focus on who is speaking and what they are trying to communicate. Look people in the eyes as you listen, signaling that you are a captive audience. Please respond to the speaker at appropriate moments so they know you have received their message.
Recap and Next Steps
At the end of a meeting, to ensure shared understanding, recap what was discussed and call out any action items or next steps. This summary helps to confirm what you and others heard and enables you to follow up on anything needed.
Final Thoughts
It’s not that hard to be present. Follow these twelve tips, and you will be a better contributor. While these are my main recommendations, I’m sure you can do a few other things to better participate in discussions. If there are any you can think of, I’d love to hear about it. Please share in the comments below!